H50 - Scarred
by kinkymastermind
Summary: The story begins where episode 9.10 ended. Inspired by the promotional pics for H50 episode 9.11 my muse went into overdrive. It's going to be an emotional and, sometimes, dark rollercoaster ride. After Joe's death, Steve is bruised, battered but not defeated. Join him!


Steve couldn't tell how long he'd been sitting there, still holding on to Joe's limp body like it was a life-line. The adrenaline rush had worn off some time ago and had been replaced by numbness. His tears had run dry, and the storm inside of Steve had calmed down. Darkness covered the place like a blanket, the only annoying thing was the constant ringing in his ears. The aftermath of the explosion that almost took him out earlier this day, but he'd been lucky. And though Joe, Cole and he had managed to kill off the goons Hassan had sent after them, it didn't feel like a victory. The price Steve had to pay for his glorious plan had been way too high. The guilt weighed heavily on his shoulders even though both of his friends were once SEALs like him. They joined him on their own accounts and knew the danger they were getting into. "All in, all the time" was one motto of the SEALs and it means you have to give everything you have at all times. Only in his case, he was the last man standing which was something he wouldn't or couldn't be proud of. At least not yet.

Slowly, all his senses came back to life and every muscle and fiber in his body was screaming. He'd been through the emotional pain long enough. Now, he welcomed the physical pain as a motivation, a motivation to get back on his feet and do what he had to do. Carefully, so as not to hurt him, Steve lay Joe on the ground, staggering more than he stood. It took him some time to reach an upright position.

Meanwhile, his eyes had been adjusting to the moonlit night so he could see that the horses were still standing where he and Joe left them. After Steve got on the horse, he took one look back at Joe's still form underneath the giant tree. He would be back as soon as possible and give his friend a proper burial. It wasn't by chance that Joe took him here and asked him if he'd ever seen such a beautiful sunset. Joe had found his peace in this place and Steve was going to respect that. He clicked his tongue and set the horse to an easy jog.

On his way back to the ranch, his mind was racing miles ahead. He hoped the sounds of guns blazing and the numerous explosions would go unnoticed somehow. He was way out of his jurisdiction and Five-0's immunity was worth shit over here in Montana. A run-in with the Montana State Troopers was definitely not on his bucket list, just as giving them a rundown of the current events and a cock and bull story about the bodies that were scattered all over the place wasn't. They wouldn't understand his explanation about the avenging kid who waited sixteen years to carry out its revenge as it was still hard for him to grasp this himself. As for now, Steve decided to keep a low profile which meant he had to get rid of the bodies, ASAP. Otherwise, the ranch would become a playground for scavengers and other carnivores. The last thing Steve needed was a close-up and personal encounter with a hungry bear or worse.

His instincts hadn't betrayed him. As soon as he got closer to the ranch by the light of a full moon, he was treated to a rollicking serenade by what sounded like a horde of coyotes. Yes, they were fast and given the seven dead bodies of the goons plus poor Cole, they must've felt like getting the main part in 'La Grande Bouffe.' Steve pulled back on the reins a little, and the horse came to a stop, making sure he kept a safe distance. A few minutes later, Steve took cover in the shadows of some bushes and checked the perimeters. From what he could see, it was about four or five animals devouring what was left of two of the goons. He reached for his gun but it wasn't there. Fuck, he must've lost it during their ride or underneath the tree where Joe's body was waiting for his return. Of course, he was still reeling from the loss of his friend, but he had to keep his mind focused. Steve shook his head to get rid of the haze and scanned the area. He figured out a path that would get him to the house while, hopefully, staying unnoticed by the coyotes.

He made it into the house, or more appropriately, its remains and searched Joe's armory for a proper weapon. He found it in one of the drawers. It was a SIG-Sauer P226 Navy and next to it was a full box with ammunition. Steve took the gun, loaded it, chambered one bullet, and flicked off the safety before he headed outside. He had no intention of hurting or killing the coyotes. But he shot the bullets pretty close to them. He'd almost emptied the clip before the last scavenger fled the ranch.

Exhausted, Steve leaned against the doorframe. The noise of the exploding bullets didn't help the trauma he suffered from the explosions. His ears started to ring, and nausea was washing over him. "This is definitely not the time or the place to drop out, buddy. Get a fucking grip," Steve told himself between clenched teeth. Yes, he was tired as hell. Yes, he was on the verge of losing it. Yes, he was close to falling apart. And yes, he'd loved to cuddle up into a fetal position in one of the dark corners. Only, this was not him. He was bruised and battered but not defeated, and he was still on a mission. A mission that had gone south in many ways. However, it was far from over. His team! Fuck, fuck, fuck. He'd totally forgotten to get back to them. The last call was Joe's when he'd called off the medevac, and that was hours ago.

Steve took out his phone; numerous missed calls. He ran one hand across his face and winced when he hit the gash on his temple. No time to take care about it now, he had to make a call. He decided against using his phone. Instead, he went back into the armory to fetch Joe's highly secure laptop that rejected all snooping and identity traces and set up a video call with his team in Hawaii. Montana was three hours ahead of Hawaii that meant that it was around 7:00 pm right now in the office, but Steve had no doubt his team was still there waiting for an update from him.

And so, it was. The first face appearing on the screen was Lou's, then Tani and Junior followed suit.

"Hi guys," Steve's voice was about to betray him as he was more than happy to see some familiar faces after all the crap that went down.

"Hey, McGarrett," Lou said.

"Hello, Sir," typical Junior.

"Hi Commander," Tani.

"Good to see you, man," Lou took over, "You look like hell, but we're glad you guys made it out alive. Joe called off the medevac; it seems like you didn't need the cavalry. Tell us where to pick you guys up and we…"

Steve cut Lou short by saying, "Joe didn't make it, Cole didn't make it, and Hassan's goons are rotting in the front yard. I'm the only one who survived this…this massacre."

"Sir, I'll call my comrades, and we can fly you out in no time," Junior said, "you look like you need medical attention yourself, we could do a stealth operation and…"

"Nope Junior. Not going to happen. That's why I am calling you. This place looks like ground zero. We are lucky nobody got a whiff of it. The location is remote, and Joe also made sure that his neighbors weren't there when all hell broke loose. We need to do some damage control." Steve's voice sounded determined.

"McGarrett, are you nuts? You can't be serious," Lou intervened. "As Junior said, we can get to you in no time; nobody will take notice."

Steve shook his head vehemently, "No way. Don't you think you guys would raise a lot of attention if you altogether vanish from the office? Listen, we have to keep this under lock and key as good as possible. I need you guys where you are. You need to work cases as if nothing has happened."

Tani rose to speak, but Steve ignored her and went on, "When will Danny be back at the office?" The mention of his partner's name stung at his heart. He really wished the blond whirlwind would be at his side and give him some of his speeches, threw his hands in the air, call him names or something. On the other hand, he was thankful that Danny was spending some quality time with Gracie before she went to college. He felt torn.

"He will be back within the next two days," Lou stated dryly, "I'm sorry, I had to bring him somewhat up to speed when he bombarded me with calls because he couldn't reach you. He was scheduled for a flight for tomorrow morning, but due to the current heavy rainstorms in New Orleans, all airplanes are grounded. You can imagine him…"

"What do you mean you had to bring him somewhat up to speed? And, what the hell is he doing in New Orleans?" Steve asked surprised.

Lou felt cornered, "I tried my best to play things down, but you should probably give him a call. And he thought he and Gracie should have some father-daughter-time aside from this college tour."

Steve gave Lou the stink eye and cursed inwardly. However, he knew it wasn't Grover's fault. Danny knew ways to get people talking. Nobody could resist his partner when he got down and dirty into interrogation mode, especially when one of his own was in danger.

"I hope you didn't tell him about my whereabouts?" Steve grunted.

Lou replied with a big sigh. His voice got softer as he made another attempt to get through to his boss and tried to convince him to come home.

Again, Steve shook his head, "I'm going to call Danny to make sure he is not moving heaven and earth to show up at my doorstep. I have an idea how to buy me…us some time."

When he saw the stony faces of his team, he felt a pang of guilt, "I know I told you Joe and I had a plan."

"Yeah, and we can see that this was leading some of your friends straight into the morgue while you look like you fought Godzilla," Lou deadpanned.

"Listen, I know that all of you would've been there for me, for Joe. But…but, this wasn't your fight," Steve tried desperately to find an explanation for why he had wanted all of them as far away as possible when the shit had hit the fan eventually.

"But it is you who always tells us that we are not just a team. That we are Ohana and if one of us is in trouble, we all stand together," Tani said, fighting the lump in her throat.

"We are Ohana, Tani. And for the thing I have in mind I need you to stay in Hawaii. But first, I have to check back with Danny."

"You mean you call him and if he isn't willing to fly to Montana and finish you off by himself, your idea could work?" Lou asked.

Steve gave him a wry grin in return. "More or less, yes. Bye for now." He was about to cut off the connection but kept his forefinger hovering over the button, "Oh, one more thing. Don't call me on my cell phone. I am destroying it. Bye."

Before any of his teammates could utter another word, the screen went dark.

"Sir, do you really consider it a good idea to follow Commander McGarrett's orders? I mean, he looked horrible, who knows how badly he is injured, and he is all alone out there and…"

"Stop it, Junior," Lou snapped. "We know that he's gone through hell over the past few days. However, if there is anything we can be sure about, it is McGarrett's experience and instinct. Though all of us might doubt his actions from time to time, I surely trust him on this one. And if he wants us to keep our feet still, we do exactly as he said and wait for Detective Williams to give us the heads up concerning the details he and Steve will be working out, hopefully."

Steve hesitated before he started to dial Danny's number. No doubt, this was going to be one of the toughest calls he'd ever made. He'd kept his best friend in the dark for too long. Sometimes, protecting the ones you love could be a double-edged sword. Steve's heart was in his throat while the video connection was established. The time difference to New Orleans was minus one hour.

When Danny's worried face appeared on the screen Steve's eyes teared up, and the knot inside his throat was about to burst.

"Hi babe, you look like crap," Danny deadpanned.

"You have no idea how good it is to see you," Steve replied and furtively wiped away a tear from the corner of his eye.

"I wondered how long it was gonna take you until you call me. Talking to Lou felt like pulling teeth and as he was only telling me the G-rated version. I hope you come up with the adult one," Danny's voice sounded strained.

"Is Gracie around?" Steve asked.

"Gracie is in her room. At her age it would be awkward to share a bed with her daddy, don't you think?" Danny retorted.

Steve huffed out a laugh, "Yes, of course. They grow up way too fast."

"Steve, I would prefer if you bring me up to speed instead of having small talk. Given the dried blood on your face, the other bruises, and the dirt, it looks like you guys put on a hell of a fight. And where the hell is Joe in all this?"

"Danny, Joe didn't make it. He's dead," Steve's voice trailed off.

While his friend tried to recover from this awful news that felt like a blow to the gut, Steve was trying to keep it together. He wasn't going to break down in front of the screen, in front of Danny.

The latter recovered faster, "Okay, that's it. I'll put Gracie on a plane to Hawaii, she is old enough to travel on her own. And I'm heading straight to you."

Steve swallowed hard, "No Danny. Don't. I need you in Hawaii. I need you to talk to the Governor. I've messed up badly. You are my backup."

"I am your what? Did you just call me your backup? What the hell is wrong with you, Steven? Fuck the Governor. Look at you; you look like you survived twenty rounds with Godzilla. Don't tell me I should stay away from you."

Steve couldn't help but started to smile.

"Why in the world are you putting on this silly grin? Did…did you hit your head by any chance or are you on the verge of losing your mind?" Danny's voice got several notches higher, though he tried to keep it down so Gracie couldn't hear him.

"It's just that Grover also mentioned Godzilla when we were talking a few minutes ago," Steve explained.

But Danny wasn't in the mood for banter, "When I get back to Hawaii, I will have a heart to heart talk to Grover and the rest of the team. I can promise you this."

"Danny, please, Danny, they only followed my orders," Steve threw in.

"This conversation is getting better by the minute. Tell me what the fuck went down and how you ended up where you are now. This is my order for you!" Danny belted out.

It took Steve about ten minutes to bring his friend up to speed. And ten more to tell him about his idea. During this time Danny stayed surprisingly calm. He only gave some comments here and there.

After Steve laid open to him about what he had in mind, Danny looked him straight in the eye, saying, "You know that this idea or whatever it is, is topping all the stupidest, dumbest ideas you ever had. How can we be sure it is going to work?"

"We can't," Steve replied. "But I don't see any other way to take the heat off of everyone involved, and to buy us some time to regroup and think about how we can get hold of this moron."

Danny frowned, "Regroup?"

"I think we will need some help. This is nothing the team can pull off on its own. We will have to contact people we can trust. Hassan's connections are way too good. Who knows who else is in his pocket? Danny, he managed Greer's escape, he found this remote location nobody knew of. He had 16 years to plan his revenge, and I am the only survivor. I'm planning on keeping it that way. And therefore, I need you in Hawaii. You have to run the task force, as long as I am staying low."

"You mean, as long as you are playing dead," Danny corrected him, "are you sure about that?"

"Positive," Steve replied, "Get the word out to Hassan, that his assassins succeeded. Every member of the SEAL-Team involved is dead. At the same time let Hassan know that the head of this operation was Greer. To me, it looks like she forgot to mention this little detail to him."

"You know that this would probably be her death sentence." Danny sighed before he went on, "And after all, she did to you and the team, it's only fair. Steven, I know I sound like a broken record, but are you absolutely sure about it? Do you really want me in Hawaii and not with you? Whatever it is you need getting done, I'll help you. Grover could take over..."

"No Danny, I know how hard it is for you."

"You do? You really do, Steven?"

"Do you think I would wait one more minute to finish Hassan off by myself if I only knew how and where? Maybe the news about my death will lure him out, and he will make a mistake?" Steve suggested.

"And if not? What if he finds out that this is just a scam? What if he is sending more goons your way? Steve, you'll be all alone out there. It would take hours to get to you." Danny sounded more than concerned.

"I will sleep with an eye open, promised," Steve reassured him.

"And for how long are you gonna play dead man?" Danny wanted to know.

"As long as it takes. Danny, I can't tell you. I'm not psychic. But to make this thing work, I need your help. If you say no, I…"

"Steve, as much as I dislike the idea, and as much as I hate to leave you on your own in the middle of nowhere, I trust you, and I will have your back. There's just one thing. If I think we're heading headfirst into a disaster, or I get the slightest idea that your life would be in danger, I come to Montana personally and drag your sorry ass back home." The determined look in Danny's eyes told Steve that his friend was dead serious.

"Copy that Danno. So, we are clear? You have to give the team a brief run-down after you return to Hawaii. And don't forget to give Gracie a bear-hug and a kiss from Uncle Steve."

"I will. Take care of yourself, babe. Love you." Danny said.

"Love you too," Steve replied. His screen went black. Again, he was surrounded by darkness.

His stomach growled. Steve couldn't remember the last time he ate or drank something. Though he was not really hungry, he forced himself to get up and look for food and water. He would need all his physical and emotional strength for the things that lay ahead of him. Sleep was highly overrated these days.

But first, he dragged the bodies of two goons out of the house and checked every room in case one of them left any surprises. The house was in bad shape. Only the armory and an adjacent room were spared from destruction. Steve found a stash of MREs and a canteen. A sad smile crossed Steve's lips. Once a SEAL, always a SEAL. Why wasn't he surprised that Joe had not just weapons in here but also food and other survival equipment?

He went over to the kitchen to put water into the canteen. As expected, the entire room was shot up. The kitchen boards and the fridge were peppered with bullet holes, and the smell of cordite was still in the air.

Maybe the well with the tube-like contraption in the backyard was still working. This time luck was on his side. When he pulled up the contraption, it was filled with water, which he then carefully poured into the canteen. He took out his flashlight as he went over to the old garden shed which had also miraculously survived the attacks, and found a bucket in it. He then went back to the well, filled it up and took it over to the horses. He dismounted and patted them, spoke in a soothing voice and then poured the water into the trough. It was leaking a bit. He went back and forth with the bucket four more times. Before Steve returned to the house, he washed his face and hands with the ice-cold water. As the moon was hiding behind some clouds, he used the flashlight on his way back in, trying to keep the light on the floor in case there was someone still out there. "Better safe, than sorry," he thought.

About four hours later, Steve woke with a start. It took him some time to know where he was. The creaking of floorboards in another room brought his senses back to life within the blink of an eye. He took the gun in his hand and walked over to where the noise was coming from. Carefully, he peeked around the corner. He let out a sigh of relieve when he found a deer in the middle of the room. As he got a few steps closer and could almost touch it, it shied away. His heart rate went back to normal and fatigue set back in. Steve was sure if he sat down, he would be out in no time. But there were still so many things he had to do. He decided to go over to the horses to mount them, got himself a shovel from the shed and tied it down on the saddle of his horse. Then he led both horses to Cole's body, lifted him together with the tarp and lay him over the saddle of the other horse.

"I'm sorry, buddy that I can't scatter your ashes on Narragansett Bay. But I am sure you're going to like it out there under the tree, side by side with Joe," Steve whispered while he tied down the body.

Though he'd seen many comrades die when he was on active duty and had some of them buried because there had been no other way, this was a whole different animal. As soon as Steve started to dig a hole that would be wide and deep enough to hold two bodies, his mind went blank. Steve took off his shirt as the sun was burning mercilessly down on him as he kept on digging the sweat was glistening on his body. He was working as hard and fast as he could until he was convinced that the hole was big enough. Steve took the tarp he'd brought with him from one of the horses together with a rope. Only now he realized the blisters on his palms, some of them ripped open oozing liquid. He ignored the stinging pain and went over to Joe. Carefully he wrapped his fatherly friend's body in it and used parts of the cord to tie both ends of the tarp. He repeated the procedure with Cole's body. Hours later, he was done with the burial of his friends. Steve had never been a very religious person, and he hadn't had to speak at funerals either. And so, he whispered 'Our Father' because it was the only prayer he knew by heart while he was staring at the grave.

The whole time Steve had been on auto-pilot so to say. He'd entirely shutdown his emotion. It was pure self-preservation instinct. He knew there would come a time where he would be overcome by his grief. The road to darkness had a way of always knowing his name. It wouldn't be the first time he would be heading down this path. He'd been there after Freddie's death and after his father's and he would also end up there, now that Joe was gone. It was only a matter of time.

The stench of decay that hit his nostrils all of a sudden, tore him from his gloomy thoughts and brought him back to reality. Even his horse shied. Steve had spent much more time digging the grave than he had thought. The bodies of Hassan's goons had been lying in the hot sun the whole day. Given the painful condition of his palms, there was no way Steve could dig another hole which would have to be big enough to bury seven bodies. The only way to get rid of them was the dried out well a few hundred yards from here. Hopefully, the shaft hadn't collapsed. Otherwise, it would be deep enough.

A few hours later, Steve pulled down the piece of cloth that had covered his mouth and nose while he was on his way back to the ranch. He felt totally exhausted, and there wasn't an inch of his body that didn't hurt or wasn't bruised. It took a lot of effort to set one foot in front of the other. But he had endured worse. Another SEAL quote crossed his mind, "Get comfortable being uncomfortable."

Steve's mind wandered back to his SEAL training and the "surf torture" where he had linked arms with his classmates, one of whom was Freddie, and stand, sit, or lie in the frigid Pacific Ocean, until their bodies had reached the early stages of hypothermia. During the initial phases of training, it had been a daily routine. Then, they had to cover themselves from head to toe in sand and stay that way for the rest of the day. Often, he and his comrades had followed this with running the obstacle course, weapons training, or classroom time.

Nonetheless, they had to push the discomfort aside and stay focused on the task at hand. Steve also remembered the day he'd stopped Freddie from ringing the bell, from giving in and calling it quits. Given the fact that his best friend, at that time, had gotten killed when the two of them were on a mission made him second-guess his decision.

Like he decided to go after Hesse's brother Anton who then died under his watch which in turn led his father's death. With Joe's death, all of these occasions were coming full circle, so it seemed.

While Steve downed the last bite of tonight's MRE with a big gulp from the canteen, the lump in his throat was about to choke him. But as Steve wasn't doing drugs or alcohol, he had to get through this emotional rollercoaster in full consciousness. Awesome. He was wondering how much more he could endure. One of the things that kept him going, aside from the physical pain, was Danny. It had cost him a lot to tell his friend to stay away from him. And he did not doubt that it was probably even harder for Danny to follow Steve's "order." Suddenly, he felt the urge to call him. He fired up the laptop and was about to dial Danny's number, his finger hovered over the keyboard. And what would he tell him? "Hey Danno, how was your day? Mine was meh, I buried Joe and Cole and also got rid of the bodies of Hassan's goons. Guess I can add undertaker to my resume now because I think I did a decent job. Joe even had some quicklime in his shed. So, I poured it over their remains to keep them from putrefying and rounded up things by covering all of it with soil. While I was at the job, I wondered if Joe had buried some of his enemies in the backyard of his ranch."

Frustrated, Steve closed the laptop and put it aside. He closed his eyes briefly and took in a sharp breath. He couldn't tell what was worse, being almost beheaded in Afghanistan back in the days or being doomed to lay low in the middle of nowhere alone with the ghosts from the past, the present and the future. As Christmas wasn't that far away, he now felt like Scrooge. Only, he doubted that his dead friends or family members would visit him. "Family, Aunt Deb," Steve thought. God, he still missed this woman who had been more a mother to Mary and him then Doris would ever be. Doris, God only knew where she was now.

The wind picked up, and the rustling of the leaves jerked Steve back to reality. All his instincts were on high alert. Every nerve was on fire, urging him to get up and check the premises. Was somebody out there lurking in the dark, waiting for him? His stomach somersaulted at the thought, and his eyes darted from one shadow to the next while his capacity for rational thought deserted him. Steve forced himself to stay where he was. Time was ticking by slowly. Nothing happened. And at some point, he was overcome by sleep.

When Steve woke up the next morning his neck was killing him from the awkward position in which he'd fallen asleep in the armory, next to one of the empty boxes where Joe had stashed his weapons. "This couldn't be it," Steve told himself. He had to start some sort of renovation as he didn't know for how long he'd be stuck in this place. It was almost a mission impossible as the larger part of the house had been "redecorated" with a rocket launcher and numerous bullet holes. Steve took a look at his palms. They didn't look much better than the day before, but he didn't care. Some gauze and a bandage had to do the trick together with a pair of gloves, and his hands would be good as new.

Time was flying while Steve put all the weapons in- and outside the house back into the armory and started some woodwork. He wouldn't win a prize for his handiwork, but it felt good to do something and not just sit around and wallow in self-pity. He'd also returned one of the horses and left a note to inform the owner about the whereabouts of the other. Later that day, he checked on Danny and the team. Danny's appointment with the Governor was scheduled for tomorrow morning. He was still trying to figure out what to say and asked Steve if he was sure she wasn't part of this conspiracy.

"I think we can be sure of nothing, but from what the rest of the team told me, they hadn't found any traces that led to her. Which I agree isn't meaning anything, but we need to stay positive and give it a try," Steve explained.

"Stay positive, of course. What else?" Danny retorted, "Give it a try is not exactly my idea of handling this matter. If she is involved, I am serving her your head on a fucking silver platter, Steven. I hope you are aware of it." Danny was emphasizing his words with his hands.

Steve gave him a tired grin in return, "I am well aware of it, Danno."

"I hate when you Danno me in situations like this. I mean, not that we have been in such a cluster fuck before, it is just…" He scratched the back of his head.

Lou appeared on the screen. "Hi McGarrett, how's it going? You still look like crap but not as worse as the last time we've talked."

Steve nodded, "I'm holding up. Don't worry. I guess Danny had all of you brought up to speed about my idea."

"Yes, he has," Lou replied, "and like him, none of us is calling it a genius strike, let alone is happy about it. But we accept it, and we have a handy tool in our hands, so to say. Our "friend" from Deutschland is going to play a major part in it. And I can assure you, you don't want to know how Danny and I convinced him to cooperate." Lou flashed a brief smile.

"I'm sure you guys did what you could to keep it legal," Steve replied dryly.

"Yep, you could put it that way," Danny threw in, then added, "and God have mercy on him if he screws up."

Tani and Junior shoved Lou aside. "Anything else we can do for you?" Junior asked.

"Not at the moment. Just hold down the fort and don't get any stupid ideas and come out here or whatever, you hear me?" Steve instincts hadn't betrayed him.

The kids felt caught, "Yes, Sir," Junior muttered, and Tani followed suit.

Steve did not doubt that both had already packed their bags and were ready to leave Hawaii.

"Guys, I know it is as hard for you as it is for me, but it is of extreme importance to follow Danny's and my orders. Nobody is flying solo here. Copy that?" Steve had to bite back a smile. He knew the rookies were eager to prove themselves. But this was definitely not the time for it.

"Listen to Uncle Steve," Danny said. "And now help Uncle Lou to "prepare" our guest for the call he has to make." Tani and Junior rolled their eyes before they turned around and followed Lou downstairs.

Danny sighed, "Kids."

Steve barked out a laugh.

"At least you haven't lost your sense of humor out there in the wild," Danny softly said. "Do me just one favor, try to stay safe. Don't think only the kids have their bags ready." His voice betrayed him, and Steve could see the tears in his friend's eyes though Danny was turning his face away from the screen.

Steve was devastated. He felt Danny's pain, and it manifested in physical pain in his chest and his throat. So, he briefly coughed before he said, "I'll get back to you tomorrow around noon so you can tell me about your talk to the Governor. I guess it would be stupid to say 'don't worry.'"

Danny had his emotions back in check when he said, "Yes, this would definitely be a stupid thing to say. You have no idea." There was so much more Danny had on his mind, so much more he wanted to tell Steve, but he decided against it, and so he closed their conversation by saying, "Take care. I love you, babe."

"I love you too," Steve said. After the screen went dark, Steve knew that these words had a deeper meaning to Danny and him. This wasn't just something friends said to each other all the time. Not in the current situation they were in.

Steve closed the laptop and stared at the wall. The storm that was raging inside of him –a mixture of grief, sadness and lots of anger, wasn't showing on his face. He wanted this over. Patience had never been his strong suit. Only this time, it was essential and necessary. And though he felt lonely, he knew he wasn't alone. There were people back home who were supporting him and having his back. And there was Danny. His voice of reason. His partner for about nine years now. The only constant in his life. They had saved each other's ass more times than he could count. They weren't just friends, they were soul mates, and sometimes, Steve couldn't get rid of the thought that their feelings ran so much deeper than both of them were ready to admit.

Also, deep ran the scar that was caused by Joe's death. Dark times were lying ahead of him. And, if things were working out as planned, what would be his next step? What was he going to do if they were able to locate Hassan? As of now, he did not doubt that he would finish this bastard off without any remorse. As of now…

Steve put the laptop aside and got up. Time to check the premises one last time for today. Slowly but surely, Steve tried to get some sense of routine back into his life. It was important to him because it was somewhat soothing and it helped him to stay focused. After all, the abyss was still calling his name, like a siren's song. But, the last thing Steve McGarrett wanted to do was to give in.

**The End?**


End file.
